«Elagu Savisaar...»

Minu arust väga hea.

Veidi svipsis meeskodanik tuiab tänaval ja hüüab:
«Elagu Savisaar... Elagu Savisaar...»
Rahvas möödub, kes kehitab õlgu, kes vaatab suisa vaenulikult. Lõpuks jääb mees seisma ja prahvatab:
«Elagu Savisaar ka minu abirahast ära!»

Promises of a great income.

Avalik kiri Eesti Vabariigi Valitsusele | Domeeni Reform

Avalik kiri Eesti Vabariigi Valitsusele | Domeeni Reform

Olin hea laps

Pahandusi tegin vähe,
kukkudes ei tönninud,
pika salmigi sain pähe -
sugugi ei jonninud.
Siiski hakkan pabistama
kurku tekib kibe klimp,
sest et näen: sul, jõuluvana -
ikka vööl sul vitsa kimp!

Rahulikke jõulupühi Teile kõigile!

TALVEL JU PRIIUSERÜÜTLEID EI KOHTA*

1. kuigi mõnikord tahaks, tahaks öelda, et jää, palun jää , aga ei, ma ei suuda. mõnikord tahaks tõepoolest, et sa jääksid, mõnikord tahaks kasvõi, et sa tuleksid.
2. tule homme, sest täna ma vihkan sind. tule täiskuuneljapäeval. tule. tule julgelt, ma näitan sul' lille / väike prints mis kord minule tõi / oskad olla sa lilleks ja end kinkida mulle /muuta sinugi ohakaks võin*
3. sa tuled. et rääkida? kuulata? lihtsalt olla, et saaks taas ühe üksildase päeva õhtusse, et saaks taas elatud päeva eest risti kirja? ma ei tea. ma ei hooligi*. pole minu asi.
4. ma olen justkui nukk või nagu koer, kes vaid mehaaniliselt saba liputab.
5. aga ma ei tahagi midagi muud, kui vaid eksisteerida. sinu jaoks, kellegi jaoks. siis jääb vähemalt endalegi mõnikord mulje, et ma siiski hoolin. suudan hoolida.

1001 sayings...

1. Birds of a feather flock together and mess on your car.
2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbour’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
6. A penny saved is a government oversight.
7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
10. He who hesitates is probably right.

What NOT to say to the Police

• I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
• Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
• Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
• Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
• I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
• I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
• You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
• Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
• Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
• Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand.
• Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds.
• I pay your salary.
• So uh, you on the take or what?
• Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
• Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
• I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
• What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
• Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
• Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
• Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.